Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
