You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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