dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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