oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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