Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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