...so i touched it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
