Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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