I accidentally burped into my bong.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
