I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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