words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
