OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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