their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I did not marry a roomba.
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