Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
