I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
