i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
