remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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