He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
