I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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