yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
