Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
