So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
