its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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