We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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