Old men and throwing up are my life now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
