no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
