is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize