Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
