: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I understand Curling. That high.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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