Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
