I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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