Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
