Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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