omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
