I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
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