if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
