More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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