Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize