thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
