everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
