The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
