Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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