You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
