are you so shy because you have an std?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
