ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize