I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
