I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
