She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
