your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
