weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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