I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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