i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
