I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
