Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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