dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
