I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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