i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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