Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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