take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
