No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
