how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it was like eating out sand paper
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize