I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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