I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize