Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't turn off my feet"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
