We won't sleep together?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize