Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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