watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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