I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have already put on my inside pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
