Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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